In this age of film, there are few movies that can pull so hard at the strings of the heart. To see something so eye opening, something that makes you reflect on yourself, think about the way that you act and speak towards others. Not many films can have that effect on people, so you would shudder to even imagine that a animated film from Japan could do just that. Koe no Katachi or A Silent Voice, is film straight from the heart of Kyoto. Based on the popular japanese light novel/manga series and produced by animation powerhouse Kyoto Animation, Koe no Katachi is a masterpiece of a film that everyone should see at least once in their lifetime. Whether you’re a fan of the anime world or if you’re just a fan of film, the film is well worth the watch.

For years I have been a fan of Kyoto Animation. They have produced some of my favorite anime such as Inuyasha, Beyond the Boundary, K-On!, Hyouka and Myriad Phantom Colors etc. Kyoto never fails to put their heart a souls into the adaptations of beloved japanese light novel and manga adaptations. A Silent Voice brings us the story of Shoya Ishida, a young school boy whose world is completely changed when a girl named Shoko Nishimiya, who is deaf, enrolls in his elementary school class. You immediately become attached to Shoko because her first scene being introduced to the class, she has to use a notebook to communicate with the other kids and the expression on her face was so innocent and optimistic. She just wants to make friends and try the best that she can to be normal. But that doesn’t happen. She begins to get bullied by Shoya and his friends.

The scenes really resonated with me. I found myself in tears as I watched this little girl, who is doing her best to not let her ailment define her, get bullied and abused just because she’s a little different. I was Shoko growing up. I know how hard it can be to find a place where you belong, trying to fit in even though you’re different from your peers. Wanting so badly to just be like the other kids, when you’re not. Being isolated because of that can be cold and lonely. There was a specific scene where Shoko was sitting at her desk and she was asked to read from the book by their teacher. Now if you’re unfamiliar with how speaking works when you’re hard of hearing, it’s a lot harder and sounds different from regular speech. Her words were hard to comprehend at times and her voice was different from a regular childs. But still, she smiled and read as best she could on her own. Ishida being the bully that he was mocked her when it was his turn to read.

Having the main characters and cast as kids in the beginning of the film made you connect with them easily. Wanting nothing but happiness and success for Shoko as she grew up was something that Kyoto pulled off perfectly. After an incident that ended in blood, Shoko transferred schools and ishida was branded a BULLY by his classmates and was alienated by them. Even though they all did the bullying as well. That label followed Ishida into high school and that isolation and lonely lead him into depression and him attempting to kill himself. But before he could do it, Shoko came into his mind’s eye and he couldn’t go through with it.

The entire second half of the film is Ishida and Shoko reuniting and getting to know each other better. Even chance meetings with old classmates that abused Shoko, even in their high school age made me upset and I found myself yelling at the screen in defense of Shoko. She just continued to give that beautiful smile and simply say “I’m sorry” even though it wasn’t her fault. Then towards the end of the film there was fireworks festival. Ishida had attended it with Shoko and her family. You could tell something was off with Shoko given how little she was communicating with her family and with Ishida, even so she said goodbye to her friend and went home alone. Soon after Ishida went back to the Nishimiya residence for her little sister’s camera and this is probably the most powerful scene in the film.

Shoko was on the railing of the balcony, ready to jump and end her life. Ishida rushes to her as quick as he can and catches her hand just in time. He tells her that she shouldn’t end her life and basically confesses his feelings for her without really doing so. This changes Shoko’s mind about dying and she fights for life. But in the action of pulling her up, Ishida falls over the balcony and into the water at the bottom of the complex and falls into a comma.

Such powerful scenes are what make films hard to turn away from. Hard to forget even days after watching. Koe no Katachi left an imprint on my mind and my heart forever, simply because I related to Shoko so deeply. I cried when she cried, I felt her pain and her need to find strength. I understood how she was simply was trying her best to just simply live, without feeling like an inconvenience to everyone around her. This film touched on the weight of physical ailments and mental health so perfectly. I can see this film opening so many eyes and hearts after just one watch.

So after two watches I can confidently say that this film is a must watch for anyone, regardless of age, gender or personal film preference. So many people in the world need to exposed to things like this. To gain compassion, knowledge and understanding of such issues as these. So please, give this film a watch. Sit down with your family and friends. I promise that you won’t regret it.

Koe no Katachi is available on Blu-Ray & DVD at various Japanese retailers and available for streaming on various anime websites as well!

Score: 10/10

Sanity

Sacrificing sanity for things that I hate
For nights of no productivity and less creativity
For people I feel nothing for
At a job that rots me from the inside out
For the daily anxiety of trying to keep up with life
The anxiety of keeping my love close
Wishing it would all slow down
Give me a brief relief from the pace I wonder if I am gaining closer to my dreams
Maybe I will regain what I have lost if I keep going
If I reach the end, no
When I reach the end
For my sanity
I will go

©Jawan Herron

Awareness


This poem is a result of things that i’ve seen and or have thought of for as long as I can remember. I’m choosing to write about such a troubling topic because I feel not enough people are addressing it. We often miss the signs of depression and anxiety until it’s too late and that doesn’t sit right with me. I have often thought of killing myself in the past and if those who reached out to me didn’t do so, I most certainly would not be here today. I hope as you’re reading this you feel a sort of anxiety and sadness, as if you’re living in someone else’s shoes, as if you’re living in a past me’s shoes and you’re met with this choice because sometimes others feel like there is no other way out, much like I did in the past. Please just be aware and be kind to one another because you can never know what is going on in someone else’s life. Thank you.

Choice

You forget everything
Your body is numb, as if walking through a shallow glacier
No touch, no feeling, no senses
The world around you becomes black as it becomes harder to breath
Suffocating on the very words you wish so desprately to spit out
But you choke and no one can hear you
The blood in your veins boiling like fire
Do you care at all
Do you want to care at all
Reaching out into the void of the safe haven in your mind
Pulling nothing but emptiness back
Not fearing what you’re facing but welcoming it
You take the knife
You tie the noose
You level the bridge
Falling into nothingness that is impossible to journey back from, until you crash
It feels euphoric, to be finished with it all
As it runs slowly through the cracks
No more pain
No more suffering
No more sadness
Nothing but black

©Jawan Herron